As we close in on Election Day, we’re going from candidates behaving badly, to candidates behaving worsely. In the Kentucky Senate debate last night, Rand Paul was livid over ads that mention how in college he forced a female student to bow down to a god that Paul called “Aqua Buddha” (video of the ad below). You know, the way college kids do. By the way, what are the beliefs associated with “Aqua Buddhism”? Do they believe we’re all one? Or that we’re all wet? The truly scary thing about Rand Paul is that the whole “Aqua Buddha” thing is the least disturbing thing about him. I have less of a problem with someone who wants to worship made-up gods in college than I do with a candidate who wants to eliminate Social Security. At the end of the debate, Rand Paul refused to shake Democrat Jack Conway’s hand. Oh well. I’m sure that Jack Conway didn’t know the secret Aqua Buddha handshake anyway.
John McCain’s daughter, Meghan, had some tough words for Christine O’Donnell. According to Meghan, Christine O’Donnell “has no real history, no real success in any kind of business.” Hello! Christine O’Donnell is a professional candidate! That’s “real success,” as long as you don’t get technical and say that success means you ever have to win an election. Christine O’Donnell has lost more races than the Jamaican bobsled team.
In Alaska, private security guards for Senate candidate Joe Miller handcuffed a journalist who asked a question that Joe Miller didn’t want to answer. Hey Joe, ever try just saying “no comment”? Well, it’s nice to see that Joe Miller is really sincere in his beliefs about privatization. He even wants to take the law into his own hands. The private security guards told the journalist that if he didn’t stop asking questions, he would be charged with “trespassing.” Trespassing? The incident occurred on public property at a public event. The only “trespassing” this guy did was to cross the “line in the sand” that Joe Miller drew when it comes to answering questions about past ethics violations.
At least it wasn’t Rand Paul’s private security guards subduing this journalist—they would have forced him to worship Aqua Buddha. I don’t even want to think what Christine O’Donnell’s private security would do to a person, though the handcuffs would really come in handy for the anti-masturbation crusade.
Rand Paul is fit to be tied over his opponent’s “Aqua Buddha” ad…