TALE OF THE TAPE

Sports

  1. natecredit1.jpg digiornocredit1.jpg
    One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

    Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.

  2. seahawkscredit2.jpg texanscredit2.jpg
    Tale Of The Tape: Seattle Seahawks At Houston Texans

    Russell Wilson is not a system quarterback. While he is a perfect fit for Pete Carroll’s offense, Wilson would be a solid quarterback in any offense.

  3. Cleveland Browns v Denver Broncos LeBron James Pre Decision Meet and Greet
    Was The Trent Richardson Trade Less Painful Than LeBron James’ “The Decision”?

    For those of you who haven’t been paying attention…Trent Richardson, the #3 overall draft pick in the 2012 draft, just got traded to the Indianapolis Colts.

  4. New York Jets v New England Patriots "The Dark Knight Rises" New York Premiere - Inside Arrivals
    New England Patriots Vs. The Dark Knight Rises

    2012’s The Dark Knight Rises was met with extraordinary expectations. Similarly, the 2013 Patriots entered the season highly regarded – as they do every year that both T-Brads and Bill Belichick are on staff.

  5. jaguarscredit1.jpg seahawkscredit1.jpg
    Tale Of The Tape: Jacksonville Jaguars At Seattle Seahawks

    Will Blaine Gabbert be back for this game after getting cut in the opener and taking 15 stitches in his chin? He probably hopes not.

  6. (credit: Matt Sullivan/Getty Images) (credit: EVARISTO SA/AFP/Getty Images)
    Cleveland Browns In The Playoffs Vs. Chances Of Seeing A UFO

    The Cleveland Browns have become the perennial laughingstock of the NFL. Without fail, each year they drag their loving, loyal fans to deeper and darker corners of despair.

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