TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of Two Teams: The Fantasy Football Legend Vs. The Fantasy Football Basement Dweller

First Place Fantasy Team
Last Place Fantasy Team
Team Name
The [r]Ed Hochuli Peppers (ECHP)
Joe Buck Yourself
#1 Draft Pick
DeMarco Murray
Tom Brady
DRAFT DAY PREDICTION
"I can see, in ten years, Coach Harbaugh and Alex Smith still working together like the old married couple they really are. He'll coach 5 rings out of him. Together forever."
"There's no way Arian Foster is playing this year. When you're that big, rehabbing a torn hamstring is like trying to turn a pile of pulled pork into a pig again."
OVERALL RECORD GOING INTO WEEK 14
10-2
2-10
SEASON HIGHLIGHT
Beating team "Your Mom" 144-28 because someone forgot to wake up before 10am PST to set their team thanks to a hangover.
Coming up with the idea to use Robert Griffin's head as the star of the family Christmas tree thereby referring to it for the season as "RG-Tree."
SEASON LOWLIGHT
Losing to "[team]" the same week the office floods from Hurricane Sandy. When it rains, it pours...into your basement and corporate server room.
Trading Tom Brady (based on the fact that he's an UGGS spokesperson and model) for "literally anyone," and playing Mark "Butt Tackle" Sanchez instead.
BEST SMACK TALK
"Seriously, John, if you don't pay the entry fee AND I beat you, I get your girlfriend. I already talked to her and she's fine and encouraging it."
"Me : You :: Best Thing Ever : Worst Thing Ever"
WEEKLY EXCUSE
"I'm not bragging, but obviously I could manage a real NFL team. I'm literally the most talented athlete I know and that's reinforced by my record. You can't argue with numbers."
"DeMarco Murray's foot is my Achilles heel. I knew I should've traded for the Muscle Hamster. How's someone supposed to count on Felix Jones?!"

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. Nigel Williams-Goss #5 of the Gonzaga Bulldogs reacts after a play in the second half against the South Carolina Gamecocks during the 2017 NCAA Men's Final Four Semifinal at University of Phoenix Stadium on April 1, 2017 in Glendale, Arizona. Kennedy Meeks #3 and Justin Jackson #44 of the North Carolina Tar Heels react in the second half against the Oregon Ducks during the 2017 NCAA Men's Final Four Semifinal at University of Phoenix Stadium on April 1, 2017 in Glendale, Arizona.
    NCAA Championship Tale: 1 Gonzaga Vs. 1 North Carolina

    Gonzaga and North Carolina are set to square off in the NCAA Championship. Let’s break down the matchup.

  2. Final Four Tale: 1 North Carolina Vs. 3 Oregon

    North Carolina and Oregon are set to square off in the Final Four. Let’s break down the matchup.

  3. Joel Berry II #2 of the North Carolina Tar Heels handles the ball in the second half against the Kentucky Wildcats during the 2017 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament South Regional at FedExForum on March 26, 2017 in Memphis, Tennessee. Tyler Dorsey #5 of the Oregon Ducks reacts in the second half against the Kansas Jayhawks during the 2017 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Midwest Regional at Sprint Center on March 25, 2017 in Kansas City, Missouri.
    Final Four Tale: 1 North Carolina Vs. 3 Oregon

    North Carolina and Oregon are set to square off in the Final Four. Let’s break down the matchup.

See All Tales of the Tape

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